Friday, May 18, 2012

Are you a MORTe minion feeling on the "outs?"

It can't be all that soothing to be a MORTe minion these days.  Losing sleep? "Friends" not returning calls like they used to? Others suggesting meetings at noisy bus stops instead? Higher ups in MORTe looking at you funny and not inviting you out as much to the old haunts anymore? Not seeing new haunts replacing the old haunts closed up?  Waking up in the dead of night scratching, sweating with itchy hives in new locations?  Staring at the ceiling wide awake at 6:00 am thinking someone was ringing the doorbell?

There's been no grand opening to replace the closure of Mikie Squared's on Adams Street last year leaving many MORTe minions feeling sad and forced to take a check and pretend to enjoy the Mason Civic Association on Washington St. in its place.  Without elections, there's no street money distribution making that trip an unhappy one.

These are all the common symptoms of MORTe FBI rot.  There's currently no cure as every member of MORTe looks out for number one and it doesn't include you.  Hey, you think things aren't that bad right?  They still help you swindle a few nickels and dimes here and there, pat you on the back for letting you use them as a stooge for ridiculous political operations at any number of local institutions.  Things are looking up this summer.

MSV hears the buzz was louder than a beehive when the story broke here about Hoboken411's Perry Klaussen making secretive trips to the third floor of City Hall to see IT Manager and ransacker of the mayor's office communications Patrick Ricciardi.

Throughout City Hall people shared stories of seeing Klaussen working his way through the building to the remote third floor destination where IT Manager Patrick Ricciardi looted everything coming and going in the mayor's office for well over a year.

For those not already enrolled in the Hoboken Boys of Summer Program, this could be your last chance to get your applications in before you are locked out of the summer leagues and involuntarily enrolled in the Federal Penal League.  You don't get to pick your teammates in those games. 

Please note, the FBI is available to discuss your favorite position and MORTe tricks.  While there's some who are already holding prime slots in the Hoboken batting order, you may still be able to crack the starting lineup or just as important make the team rooster.  

If not, prepare to be put into a different kind of lineup and heading out as far as a West Coast league: The Fed's California Penal.  Climate is great for a ballgame but they typically only get two innings of speed baseball in per day in an hour.  Takes a week to get in a full game.

The FBI in Newark