Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! It's time once again for fun with politics! In this latest installment, we'll be returning to one of our favorite comic venues, "City Council Minority Follies." Hey!! Let's get started!!!
This fortnight's edition: "Mr Russo Makes A Resolution."
Okay, let's see, we all know the running characters and their wacky hijinks. This time, let's all see the funny-for-the-wrong-reasons yet deadpan monologues as Mr. Russo develops some really, really rarefied and creative new attack schtick for purely political point-making. Hey, he's got one, here goes: "make them pay for the meeting." It's so crazy, it just might work.
(Ed. Note: but only as a nj.com blog post, or Old Guard commentbot "talking point"). Mr Russo will be our "Antogonist."
After that, we'll see a couple of responses from our "Protagonist," who may, after futilely trying to introducing the concept of "being reasonable," point out that there should be another resolution following Mr Russo's, requesting he pay back the overhead for the hours spent by Mr. Liston and Mr. Tabakin wasting valuable time to review and officialize this politically motivated drivel, and well as urging Mr Russo to issue an apology for having killed trees to make the paper required to have this dead-on-arrival resolution printed up.
As our plot develops, Mr Russo is then asked exactly what kind of point he is trying to make, at which time he will go on some loud volume unrelated yet richly ironic diatribe about looking out for the taxpayer (AKA the "play within a play").
Sheer fantastical governmental magic!
Quick tip: Be sure get plenty of sleep the night before and bring a big coffee, as this may get rather tedious and take way longer than it should.
Spoiler alert: if you don't have a Wednesday evening to fritter away on this pedantic political toy-swordsmanship, just rest assured this resolution will do nothing but make the council meeting divisive and extend way-way-way past everyone's bedtime and toleration for the absurd.
Postscript: Let's hear it for the pointless! Without it, how and when would we ever decide to turn off the council meeting before it dies an ugly death of sheer boredom at midnight from the Old Guard posturing? By losing our interest early and often with the pointless grandstanding, the Old Guard forces us to get back to the logistics of our lives at a respectable hour, otherwise we might be tempted to watch the whole meeting and nod off before we take out the recycling, make sure the cat has water, brush our teeth and hit the rack.
|This unpaid message brought to you by plywood|
Talking Ed Note: This was an unplanned, unretouched hijacking of one plywood comment. Please don't try this at home. Cheap imitators may be deleted by Old Guard Beth Mason political operatives on a whim at Hoboken Patch.