Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Gristle for the Mill: This just in....or maybe not

HHA Ed Carmelo Garcia and BFF Joe Branco are believed to have taken an HOLA bus without permission and are readying a trip to a Philadelphia suburb where they will take housing authority residents to protest outside Jake Stuiver's home.

Garcia and Branco are unhappy with Stuiver who after being lambasted by Ruben Ramos political operatives and Carmelitos asked if a tabulation on how many thousands of dollars he's gifted to the Hoboken Housing Authority be totaled.

"He's trying to make Carmelo look bad," Branco complained.  "Carmelo doesn't give money for events but he gets residents paid for vote-by-mail work like on the Tim Occhipinti campaign."

All Aboard! Let's go get Jake!

"The protest is not about me, it's about the residents," Carmelo Garcia said.  "We've also heard through one of our grapevines that our resident Hector Torres who writes letters to the Hudson Reporter on occasion for Beth Mason believes Jake has his baby, Hector Torres Jr."

Asked for more details on this rumor Garcia responded, "We're going to bring baby Hector home to Vision 20/20 where a pot of gold will be awaiting him."

Asked who is going on the ride, Garcia said many Carmelitos would be joining and perhaps a HHA commissioner or two.  "I've invited Greg Lincoln to reconsider his recent vote for HHA counsel and will be presenting him another opportunity to vote my way," Garcia said.  "I told him reconsidering would be good or something bad might happen to his vote like to Judy Burrell."

The bus is departing in front of the Sky Club at 10:00 am but residents are advised to arrive no later than 12:00 noon for departure after protesting Greg Lincoln and Dave Mello for voting for Vision 20/20 but not surrendering their apartments for Carmelo's spokespeople.

"We want good stuff," Sondra Smythe said adding, "We plan to protest until we get all the good stuff."


Talking Ed Note: This story is political satire. If you want to play a trick on a doofus, give it to Tim Occhipinti and have him read it as a letter in the City Council like when he did here: