Friday, August 9, 2013

BREAKING: Bet Mazin political operative Finboy found dead on NYC subway

Downfall of a Wannabe Shark star meets his non-watery demise

Finboy the wannabe shark from Weahawken and long time operative of Bet Mazin was confirmed dead today on a New York City subway.

Also known as the Hobroken bottom feeder, FinBoy in recent months became widely known as a laughingstock in the county. Having once run a little visited website Hudsonlowlife.com, the guppy-like fish had ambitions as big as a whale but lacked the ability to make those dreams come true.  Bet, known unaffectionately by her numerous political operatives as Bit Mazon was thought to be his path to the political stars before her political career crashed and burned with her attempt to force the city into bankruptcy. 

In recent days, FinBoy's name surfaced as a political operative in confidential communications to the Hobroken City Council by the infamous million quarters theft coverup councilwoman Teary Castilliancano who claimed she made "a mistake" after hitting the sauce extra hard on a Monday night.  That fiasco led to more questions on the bottom feeder's collection of active and confidential legal information used in lawsuits against the city.  A protest soon followed outside Marina View, the power base of the sauced up councilwoman who substituted FinBoy's name on a confidential email in place of Bet Mazin.

FinBoy is survived by a brother who spends all his free time watching phony wrestling and estranged wife, an Asian Tuna who recently dumped him. "He's not who he claimed to be.  I thought I was marrying this happy go lucky guy who was going to be a professional, but he turned into a bitter angry fish much like his boss who frankly everyone hates.  When he flunked out of law school, I should have left him then but felt guilty because I knew he wouldn't last without me," the wife said.

Another man rumored to be the father of the fish refused to admit to hatching him saying, "I'm not saying I fathered the little creep but he was a douchebag and I hate his bleepin guts. I'm glad he was found dead. If only it had happened sooner."

Bet Mazin also declined to express any sympathy saying, "I told him to get his last check from Inez who is the treasurer of our street money campaign. He was overpaid and destroyed any hopes I had of a political career.  He said I would be Governor if I listened to him but I can't even get elected dog catcher in Hoboken.  He's to blame for my sorry predicament."

FinBoy the bottom feeder of Hobroken politics was found dead belly up
on a NYC subway this morning.

This MSV story is satire.  If you're too stupid to know that after reading this, then you're really dumb or your name is Timmy Occhocinco and you're making a phone call to the police after a conference call with Bet.